Monday, December 24, 2007

Flame Warrior Archetypes: Part 4

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I'm posting twelve more types from Mike Reed's website at http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907
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Jekyll and Hyde

As a forum participant Jekyll and Hyde always plays by the rules and is consistently cordial and helpful - a model netizen, until one day he comes completely uncorked and lashes out without warning. His unanticipated thunderbolts can temporarily rout even the sturdiest Warriors, and it often takes some time for his stunned opponents to mount a counter attack. Jekyll and Hyde's sudden behavioral change may result from a psychotic episode, PMS, a downturn in the market, a surprise visit by the in-laws - or a session of hard drinking..
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Whisper

Whisper maintains a benign demeanor and carefully avoids open conflict. When aroused, however, she will send vigorous attacks to sympathetic forum participants via private e mail in an attempt to sway the tide of battle. A typical Whisper maneuver is to "accidentally" post an ambiguously critical, but ostensibly private message to the discussion forum, e.g., "Dear Mary - see what I mean about this guy?" Or, "John - did you read what Bill said? I rest my case!" When challenged she will protest (disingenuously) that she hit the "reply" key by mistake, that the message was never intended to be read by forum participants, that the message was out of context, etc. Whisper's intent is to gain a tactical advantage by leaving the impression that her side in the conflict is gathering heavy forces just over the horizon, and though transparently obvious to veteran Warriors, this feint can often blunt a successful attack by less experienced fighters.
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Troglodyte

Troglodyte is an aggressive Philistine who categorically disdains all new-age enthusiasms and politics, and has a particular animus against "homos", "tree huggers", " hairy-leg lesbo feminists" and artsy types. His loud brandishings of "common sense" and "reason" are nothing more than conceits to justify his close mindedness. Troglodyte's fierce, but predictable attacks are easily parried by more nimble Warriors. Sometimes, just for fun, Weenie or Issues will taunt him into a towering rage.
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Tireless Rebutter

For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as if the barbarians were battering at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed.
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Xenophobe

Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards newbies to his forum as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. If a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions prevailing opinion, Xenophobe will attempt to silence or drive out the newcomer.
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Therapist

Therapist can be a highly annoying and therefore very effective Warrior. Instead of making a frontal attack, Therapist attempts to shift the focus of the conflict to the combatants' psychological motivations and problems. He will freely speculate about other Warriors' insecurities, personalities and relationships, but he will almost never directly engage the subject of the dispute. CAUTION: Evil Clown, Imposter and Troller often masquerade as Therapist.
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Strumpet

Strumpet finds sex talk completely irresistible and constantly forwards excruciatingly unfunny and lurid jokes to the discussion forum. She always manages to sprinkle conversations with references to private parts and will never let pass without comment any mention of the words "eat," "enter," "come," "rub," etc. She disregards the women and flirts with all the men, often bragging that she has a husband or boyfriend that expertly satisfies her putatively voracious sexual appetite, but forum members....er, participants...quickly conclude no husband or boyfriend exists. Should any Warrior challenge her directly Strumpet will disparage her attacker's sexual orientation and/or penis size. CAUTION: Strumpet may be a man.
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Sycophant

Sycophant differs from Me-Too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger. Although combatants sometimes employ Sycophant to buttress an attack, his constantly shifting loyalties make him a weak and unreliable ally.
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Rottweiler Puppy

Rottweiler Puppy is clumsy, marginally articulate, unsteady in his often playful attacks, but anyone who cares to notice will see that one day he will be a fierce and powerful Big Dog. HINT: By showing some patience and kindness to Rottweiler Puppy in his formative stages prudent Warriors may gain a steadfast and formidable ally.
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Royals

Whether through virtue, contribution, force of personality or sheer longevity certain forum participants will rise to form an aristocracy. While it is generally taboo to openly acknowledge the class distinctions, the hierarchy is well understood by all. While for the most part the Royals rule with magnanimity, they will not tolerate impertinence from the hoi polloi. It is their habit to remain aloof from petty squabbles among their subjects, but when full-scale war breaks out their intervention can be decisive.
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Rat

Rat prefers to attack with private messages rather than out in the open. CAUTION: If a Warrior starts to get the better of the fight he will suddenly post out of context excerpts of his opponent's messages to the list. When taken to task for betraying private correspondence he will insist that he did it because he was being harassed or that his adversary poses a threat to other, more vulnerable Warriors, such as Innocence Abused.
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Propeller Head

Propeller Head knows just about everything there is to know about computers and the internet, and is indignant that you don't. Often an inarticulate and clumsy fighter he is still much to be feared because with a few deft keystrokes he can reduce your computer to a smoking heap of ruined metal - or at least he SAYS he can...
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Flame Warrior Archetypes: Part 3

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I agree with Ham Hayes' recent posting regarding Public Discourse, and particularly comments signed as 'anonymous' or some other pseudonym.
While it's easy to see why some folks prefer to remain cloaked in such forums, doing so still amounts to a cowardly act.
No one can vote without a name identity, not can you legally drive a car.
A lot of things that require proper identification for reasons our society has considered appropriate.
There is a time and place for secrecy, but civil public discourse needs to be honored, and anonymity has limited value in it.

I believe it is incumbent upon the various forums to moderate comments, and to eliminate -or severely limit- those submitted anonymously.
That is particularly true of mass media, like newspapers, radio and TV.
As far as blogs and websites go, I also prefer to know who is behind them, too.
You never know these days, do you?
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I'm again repeating the brief intro from this website:http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907
Just skip it if you've already read it. Eleven more types are presented here

"If there was some way to win a Pulitzer Prize for online work, specifically sociology-satire-commentary-art, then illustrator extraordinaire Mike Reed and his Flame Warriors should win hands-down. In my opinion it is one of the finest pieces of journo-sociology ever posted on the Internet or published anywhere for that matter. I do not make this claim lightly. Reed has managed to accurately stereotype pretty much all of the participants in online discussion forums so well that it’s an eye-opener to read this material. I have probably been writing and participating in the online world as much as anyone since I began going online around 1979 with BBS systems and wrote some of the first online only commercial columns. This work by Reed is a definitive breakdown of it all! It is sheer genius. Each of the characters is aptly named: Bliss Ninny, Weenie, Artful Doger, Blowhard, and Evil Clown are a few examples.

Even the discussions on this site — which try to find variants of the main Flame Warrior archetypes — is also outstanding.

Anyone who ever posts a comment or gets involved in online debate should read through the 99 archetypes and see where you fit in. (YOU are in there!) I have excerpted a couple of my favorites below.
The rest are here. [http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907]"
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Stealth

Stealth prefers to go into battle disguised or heavily camouflaged, often using pseudonyms, anonymous mail servers and multiple e mail addresses. Operating from a position of anonymity he can launch vicious attacks with little fear of reprisals. Because of his cowardice Stealth is often dismissed by other Warriors as an unworthy adversary.
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Garble

Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is his brain addled by some powerful drug? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing a catcher's mit? Garble's rampant typos, malapropisms and seemingly aggressive use of execrable grammar can't be explained merely in terms of poor typing skills or the lack of a spell checker. Even non-English speakers generally do a better job of punctuation grammar and capitalization, and Garble is all the more puzzling because if one goes to the trouble of wading through the muddle of his messages a discernable idea will usually emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, "Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs". When attacked for his random capitalization Garble might respond, "oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK". Not surprisingly, he drives Grammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he is utterly impervious to any sort of correction and if their attacks persist he will sign off in a huff with something like, "yuor forum si stupef. bYE!" CAUTION: Garble may be Net Rat.
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L'Enfant Provocateur

L'Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.
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Furious Typer

Furious Typer's combat strategy is to drown her adversary with a tsunami of angry verbiage. She is absolutely immune to subtlty and ignores all but the barest essentials of any argument. After briefly appraising the gist of her opponent's counter attack she puts her head down and rapidly fires off long rambling messages replete with grammatical and factual errors. The typical Furious Typer lacks endurance, however, and if the other combatants can weather the initial assault she will quickly exhaust herself and retire from the field.
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Cyber Sisters

Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Cyber Sisters attack
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Toxic Granny

Warriors often underestimate Toxic Granny's fighting abilities. She can be very aggressive, and because of the deference paid to the elderly, not only does Toxic Granny easily attract allies to aid in her defense, but her foes are reluctant to employ their strongest weapons against her. Prudent Warriors avoid confrontations with Toxic Granny because there is no glory in victory and defeat at her hands is ignominious.
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Weenie

Weenie is a very sensitive guy, and it angers him that everyone isn't as sensitive as he. A soi-disant male feminist, he not only cares deeply about women's issues, he's concerned about poverty, people of color, gay rights and sea turtles. Weenie strives to be politically correct at all times and is ever vigilant against anti progressive attitudes. Weenie is always solicitous towards the oppressed classes, but will lash out viciously at retrograde brutes such as Deacon and Troglodyte.
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Tiny Yapper

Ill tempered and aggressive, Tiny Yapper is always right out at the end of his leash and barks furiously at the slightest provocation. Though his constant high pitched yips can be very annoying, his diminutive stature and limited strength pose no real threat to other Warriors.
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Innocence Abused

Innocence Abused guards her purity jealously and cannot countenance crude language and gets the vapors over frank references to intimate bodily functions. This digital ingenue is a very weak Warrior, and is a favorite target of L'Enfant Provocateur, Jerk, Troller and Evil Clown, but Innocence Abused can always count on other Warriors, such as Cyber Sisters, Weenie and Toxic Granny, to come to her defence.
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Net Rat

Not every kid on the internet is an Enfant Provocateur; sometimes they're just Net Rat. Net Rat spends countless hours in front of the computer and loves to play at being a grownup. Imagine your chagrin if in a love and romance forum you've been pouring out your anguish over a recent messy breakup with your boyfriend, or you have finally mustered the courage to talk about some particularly lurid desires that have been throbbing in your libido, or perhaps you thought you found a romantic soulmate on the internet only to discover that your hot cyber lover turns out to be in junior high. Even worse, in a serious discussion forum you may think you have succesfully faked a convincing understanding of Spinoza and later discover that the only person you have really managed to fool is still reading Harry Potter. Well, don't feel too bad about it - some Net Rats can very convincing, but they will almost always slip and give themselves away at some point. WARNING: Perv will sometimes pretend to be Net Rat.
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Ennui

Ennui only rouses himself from his torpor to cajole other Warriors to be more interesting - without, of course, ever contributing anything of interest himself. Ennui has limited weaponry at his disposal, but his majestic affectation of boredom provides an effective defense to attacks. When pressed in battle he will announce his intention of moving on to a more stimulating forum, but instead he will generally lurk quietly until the threat passes.
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Flame Warrior Archetypes: Part 2

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I'm repeating the brief intro from this website:http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907
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If there was some way to win a Pulitzer Prize for online work, specifically sociology-satire-commentary-art, then illustrator extraordinaire Mike Reed and his Flame Warriors should win hands-down. In my opinion it is one of the finest pieces of journo-sociology ever posted on the Internet or published anywhere for that matter. I do not make this claim lightly. Reed has managed to accurately stereotype pretty much all of the participants in online discussion forums so well that it’s an eye-opener to read this material. I have probably been writing and participating in the online world as much as anyone since I began going online around 1979 with BBS systems and wrote some of the first online only commercial columns. This work by Reed is a definitive breakdown of it all! It is sheer genius. Each of the characters is aptly named: Bliss Ninny, Weenie, Artful Doger, Blowhard, and Evil Clown are a few examples.

Even the discussions on this site — which try to find variants of the main Flame Warrior archetypes — is also outstanding.

Anyone who ever posts a comment or gets involved in online debate should read through the 99 archetypes and see where you fit in. (YOU are in there!) I have excerpted a couple of my favorites below.
The rest are here. [http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907]
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Swarm

A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with a message that runs counter to its prevailing ideology, the Swarm will erupt without warning. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless attacks by individuals in a Swarm can be crushed or easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. Protective clothing will not prevent a Warrior from getting a few stings.
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Duelists

In a perpetual closed-loop feud, the Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly attempts to mediate. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, they probably don't even remember the source of their mutual animus, nonetheless they enthusiastically loathe one another and seize every opportunity to exchange vitriol. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them. Even after getting the heave-ho from one forum, however, it is not unusual for them to find each other in another discussion group and the fighting will begin anew. Hate is sometimes as mysterious as love...
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Bong

Does the writer seems to babble on and on? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mit? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is this guy talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something? Well, yes...in fact he is, and placidly tethered in high orbit Bong remains far beyond the reach of the even the most powerful Warriors' weaponry
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Acne

Acne constantly whines about how, like, life the universe and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive. It's useless to talk to Acne because there's no point, is there?
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Rebel Leader

Rebel Leader has an uncanny ability to upset the settled order of a discussion forum. Other Warriors may be excellent in mano a mano combat, but Rebel Leader's charisma, political instincts and verbal skills enable him to rally a collective assult that can overthrow the Royals and even silence Cyber Sisters. Depending on the issue Rebel Leader uses to advance his attack he may draw allies from almost any of the other Warrior classes, but he can usually count on Loopy in the early stages of the conflict and Sycophant once the revolution is well underway. Once the revolution has succeeded, however, Rebel Leader quickly loses interest in the cause. As is the case with false Kung-Fu Masters, the bones of soi-disant Rebel Leaders litter the battlefields.
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Klaxon

WARNING!!! YOU MUST READ THIS!!! Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not pass it along as accepted fact (in ALL CAPS with multiple exclamation marks). Congratulations, you are recipient 16,747 of today's Urban Myth. CAUTION: Often Klaxon knowingly posts false alarms to foment mischief.
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Rebel Without a Clue

Rebel Without a Clue's deep seated and infantile hostility to authority motivates his random and seemingly gratuitous attacks on list owners, SysOps and anyone else who attempts to maintain a modicum of order and civility in discussion forums. Differing markedly from Rebel Leader, he is unattached to any cause other than petulance for its own sake, and will therefore seldom inspire general insurrection. In his frequent and ineffectual attacks on the established order he will often cite the Bible, or the US Constitution to support incoherent arguments. Rebel Without a Clue NEVER reads forum FAQs, and loudly decries as fascism any enforcement whatsoever of forum rules
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God

In the beginning, before bandwidth, there was nothingness. Out of that endless void God and His heavenly host created...Arpanet, and it was good. But the scientific, military and computer angels Who dwelled in Arpanet were lonely, so They brought forth Browser, and the Web was born. It, too, was good and the children of the internet lived in peace and harmony and were fruitful and multiplied, but God warned His people not to eat of the forbidden fruit of commercialism. Alas, they disobeyed and soon barbarians drove the children of the internet out of Paradise. God, in His wrath, turned away from His people and condemned them to wander in the digital wilderness, but from time to time He will suddenly appear in mailing lists, chat rooms and discussion forums to remind us sinners that we could be saved if only we would hearken unto Him
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Yuk Yuk

Apparently there is no joke too lame, too lurid or too inappropriate for Yuk Yuk, and he's absolutely determined to share with you every gobbet of stale drollery, every tired urban legend and every goofy web site on the internet. Yuk Yuk seldom contributes to any discussion, preferring instead to forward witticisms and bon mots culled from his voluminous archive. Of course, should other Warriors object to his off topic inanities they are accused of lacking a sense of humor.
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Stone Deaf

Stone Deaf is one of the few truly invincible Warriors because nothing can shatter his impenetrable armor of non recognition. His primitive battle strategy is maddening effective; he simply refuses to acknowledge any arguments he doesn't like. Kung-Fu Master can hammer away with devastating blows, Cyber Sisters can screech in full throat and Profundus Maximus can expound until he drops, but Stone Deaf remains utterly oblivious as he advances his dogged and often repetitious attacks. In the early stages of battle a wide array of Warriors will fling themselves at Stone Deaf, but inevitably they fall back exahusted or lose interest when they see that their best weapons have no effect. His only real enemy is Admin, who has the power to eject him from the discussion forum.
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Admin

Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, L'Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his axe. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship.
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